Sunday, February 28, 2021

Memories of Fatherhood

 This week was a particularly difficult week for me as it was nine years ago that my father passed away. What inspired me to write this was an episode on the NBC Series “This is Us.” In the episode, two of the main characters had new babies come into their lives. It went through the first couple of days of the new children’s lives and what pressures the parents were going through. It brought back a lot of special memories to me.

 I’ll never forget the moment I realized I was going to be a father. It wasn’t when my wife Ginger told me she was pregnant, No, it was when she was in labor  which by the way lasted almost 27 hours.

The birth of our first son Davis was a long and intense affair. On the afternoon leading up to his birth Ginger was trying to have him, but he just wouldn’t come out. It was so intense as she tried like heck to have him. Finally at 6 PM that night the doctor called it and decided it was time for C-Section. Seeing Davis Lee come into this world was the most beautiful and miraculous moment I had ever experienced. And seeing Ginger hold him for the first time took my breath away.

I was able to spend a few minutes with Davis before he was taken away to the nursery. At the time he was crying but when I started speaking with him, the crying stopped. My first duty as a father was completed.

The next couple of months are a complete blur to me. There were a lot of nights where we didn’t sleep much. One thing was for certain, I loved Davis more than anything in this world and I wanted to do everything in my power to take care of him.

A few years later when it came time for my second son Drew’s birth, I told Ginger I was scared to death. She looked at me and asked why, I told her I was afraid that I wouldn’t love him as much.

Boy was I wrong! I love both of them the same. They are two completely different personalities. They each have their own qualities and faults. To this day there is nothing more in this world then my love for them.

The birth of our second son Drew, was a far different story. The doctor told us to show up at 6 in the morning and two hours later he was born. He was a very good baby, always sleeping through the night. He fussed very little. To this day he is my little angel. (At 17 he is no longer little). God put this spirit in him that is incredibly kind and loving. In a lot of ways he is a lot like me when I was his age.

As a father, I have learned what unconditional love truly is. Its not caring what anyone thinks. Its that feeling deep down inside your heart that you would do ANYTHING for that person, no matter what they did. Its that unconditional acceptance of that person for who they are.

Having unconditional love for my boys led me very shortly to the same feeling for my wife Ginger. She is the  greatest person I have ever known. Over the years watching her with my boys has led me to believe that she is the most beautiful woman I have ever known. To this day when she walks into the room she takes my breath away. I am so lucky to be her husband and I thank God everyday for that privilege. 

As the boys have grown older, Gin and I sometimes feel like we are looking in the mirror. We see pieces of ourselves in them.

Over time, I’ve tried to teach them about life and how they should live it.

First, love everyone and love God with all your heart.

Second live everyday like its your last on this earth.

Finally, treat everyone you meet the way you want to be treated.

This week was tough because it was the nine year anniversary of my dads passing. I miss him every day. When I think of him, I choke up. I still can’t believe he’s gone. When I look back, his impact on my life was enormous. Just as I see a piece of me in my sons, I see parts of my dad in me.

When my sons are complaining about something, I won’t let them do, all I do is smile, look at them and say, “one day you’ll understand.”

That’s not the answer they are usually looking for and I pray to God that one day they’ll say, “yep, dad you were right.”

And then the circle of fatherhood will continue. 

No comments:

Post a Comment