This week was a particularly difficult week for me as it
was nine years ago that my father passed away. What inspired me to write this
was an episode on the NBC Series “This is Us.” In the episode, two of the main
characters had new babies come into their lives. It went through the first couple
of days of the new children’s lives and what pressures the parents were going
through. It brought back a lot of special memories to me.
I’ll never
forget the moment I realized I was going to be a father. It wasn’t when my wife
Ginger told me she was pregnant, No, it was when she was in labor which by the way lasted almost 27 hours.
The birth of our first son Davis was a long and intense
affair. On the afternoon leading up to his birth Ginger was trying to have him,
but he just wouldn’t come out. It was so intense as she tried like heck to have
him. Finally at 6 PM that night the doctor called it and decided it was time
for C-Section. Seeing Davis Lee come into this world was the most beautiful and
miraculous moment I had ever experienced. And seeing Ginger hold him for the
first time took my breath away.
I was able to spend a few minutes with Davis before he was
taken away to the nursery. At the time he was crying but when I started
speaking with him, the crying stopped. My first duty as a father was completed.
The next couple of months are a complete blur to me. There
were a lot of nights where we didn’t sleep much. One thing was for certain, I
loved Davis more than anything in this world and I wanted to do everything in
my power to take care of him.
A few years later when it came time for my second son Drew’s birth, I told
Ginger I was scared to death. She looked at me and asked why, I told her I was
afraid that I wouldn’t love him as much.
Boy was I wrong! I love both of them the same. They are two completely
different personalities. They each have their own qualities and faults. To this
day there is nothing more in this world then my love for them.
The birth of our second son Drew, was a far different story.
The doctor told us to show up at 6 in the morning and two hours later he was
born. He was a very good baby, always sleeping through the night. He fussed
very little. To this day he is my little angel. (At 17 he is no longer little).
God put this spirit in him that is incredibly kind and loving. In a lot of ways
he is a lot like me when I was his age.
As a father, I have learned what unconditional love truly
is. Its not caring what anyone thinks. Its that feeling deep down inside your
heart that you would do ANYTHING for that person, no matter what they did. Its
that unconditional acceptance of that person for who they are.
Having unconditional love for my boys led me very shortly to
the same feeling for my wife Ginger. She is the
greatest person I have ever known. Over the years watching her with my
boys has led me to believe that she is the most beautiful woman I have ever
known. To this day when she walks into the room she takes my breath away. I am so lucky to be her husband and I thank God everyday for that privilege.
As the boys have grown older, Gin and I sometimes feel like
we are looking in the mirror. We see pieces of ourselves in them.
Over time, I’ve tried to teach them about life and how they
should live it.
First, love everyone and love God with all your heart.
Second live everyday like its your last on this earth.
Finally, treat everyone you meet the way you want to be
treated.
This week was tough because it was the nine year anniversary
of my dads passing. I miss him every day. When I think of him, I choke up. I
still can’t believe he’s gone. When I look back, his impact on my life was
enormous. Just as I see a piece of me in my sons, I see parts of my dad in me.
When my sons are complaining about something, I won’t let
them do, all I do is smile, look at them and say, “one day you’ll understand.”
That’s not the answer they are usually looking for and I
pray to God that one day they’ll say, “yep, dad you were right.”
And then the circle of fatherhood will continue.
Posts
